Family Business

Dr. Gilliland is speaking at a conference in Portland, Oregon for ReGeneration Partners, The Essentials of Family Business.  Family business’ can be very rewarding but incredibly challenging.  Combining two powerful forces – family dynamics and business/wealth – can be a volatile mix triggering many layers of psychological and emotional

Question and Answer: Parents

One of the tougher questions we get, from parents – How do you deal with the pain and suffering of a child addicted to drugs and alcohol?

I know this answer may be a little late, but it’s still the best answer – Don’t have children.  I’m sorry they never told us that our hearts would experience such ranges of joy, pride, sorrow, pain, and a host of other feelings we didn’t know existed prior to being a parent.  I’m not sure it would have mattered if we were told.

Let me take another shot at the answer since the first one might not have been helpful.  I was on a panel discussion in September and we got this same question.  I also ask our clients and families these same questions when I see them doing well.  Two things I heard this week that I have heard over the years.  First, never give up hope.  This world does not operate on the calendar and times of us as parents.  Change is often a very slow and painful process.  Instead of looking at your child’s life, look at your own, look at your marriage – how long did it take you to address a very complex and difficult issue?  Keep believing in the possibility of change, no matter how small it may be, protect it and keep it alive.

And second, try to allow pain and suffering to do its work.  That’s almost a direct quote from a parent who is “struggling well” several years into this issue.  For him, and many other parents I’ve worked with, there is a spiritual element to the issue of pain. Bringing a spiritual growth and maturity that isn’t found in times of prosperity.  It’s as if there is a knowledge that all these things will work together in a way that I can’t fathom in the immediate, but know that there is the very real possibility they will produce benefits in ways that are far beyond the current pain.

Professionals in Recovery

We work with a number of professionals – pharmacists, dentists, nurses, lawyers, physicians – that struggle with alcohol addiction or drug addiction.  While people with addictions struggle with the same issues, there are unique challenges for everyone.  Whether you’re a professional, a mother, or a CEO – there are unique aspects of recovery for everyone.  One of the sobering (no pun intended) questions for professionals is “what’s your backup profession?”  When you lose a license, you lose more than a job.  You lose an identity and a dream that may have been pursued since childhood.  Make sure your treatment addresses the basic AND unique aspects of your life and your addiction.

Alternative Treatment?

Talking with a colleague the other day, we discussed how the addiction treatment field is a little unique.  People often ask if we are a 12 step program (meaning, do you work clients through the steps, the big book of alcoholics anonymous, work with a sponsor and other elements of AA meetings).  When we say that i360 is not a 12 step program, we get placed by some in another category.  Our experience is that it takes a number of critical things for people to be successful, for some its 12 step programs, for some its individual/couple/family therapy, for some its medications to address serious psychiatric symptoms, for some its addiction medications to help with cravings, for some its spirituality, for some its general health interventions, for some it’s significant occupational or academic focus.  So, is Innovation 360 an alternative to traditional rehab treatment, typical alcohol programs that you find in Dallas or Ft. Worth?  Yes, we are.  Addiction research has taught our field a lot over the last 10 years.  Sadly, few addiction therapists use that information with patients.

High Risk Times for People in Recovery

There’s a reason that websites and emails are filled with articles on the challenges of people in recovery during the holidays. It is nearly impossible to visit a rehab website or an addiction treatment center’s website without finding tips on alcoholism or drug addiction during htis time of year.

Check out this link. It’s one of the better stories to help you navigate difficult situations and times during the holiday season. We say it all the time on our website and blog:  Be smart. Don’t be strong.

Question and Answer: Holidays at Home with Addicted College Students

Holidays are difficult for everyone. They are especially difficult for people in recovery. College students coming home face the challenges of being in potentially stressful family situations as well as around old high school friends that use and abuse drugs and alcohol.

There are numerous resources, treatment centers, and drug and alcohol rehab programs to consider and plenty of opinions on how to answer this question, but what is most important is having an honest conversation. Sit and talk through expectations and guidelines you have for them while at home. Keep the list short, but be very clear about expectations and responsibilities. They may be college students, but they’re in your home. It’s ok to have boundaries as long as they’re there. These expectations should include clearly communicated consequences. Be prepared to follow through.

If you have an adult child struggling with addiction, think about having an alcohol-free holiday season. Talk about activities that might be good alternatives and what would make them feel (and be) more comfortable and successful during a substance free holiday. See our Q & A blog:  One Drink?

Addiction and Business: All in the Family

We were part of a conference held by ReGENERATION Partners, a company under the leadership of Jim Hutcheson, that specializes in providing business consultation to family owned businesses.  In a paper and study we are conducting with Jim, we found substance abuse to be a significant issue (often needing a referral to treatment) in more than 50% of all cases.  An issue significant enough to impact the company’s ability to operate effectively and efficiently.  Just a reminder that alcohol dependence and drug abuse impact people of all ages and income levels.  We see this with the clients we treat in Dallas and Ft. Worth – and you will find it in rehab programs across the country.

And when addictions impact a family member that is a coworker in a family business, you are going to need a professional to help sort through all the financial, legal, and treatment related issues.  Find someone like ReGENERATION Partners in Dallas, TX.

Addiction and Family Business

We were just on a panel at a conference for consultants to family owned businesses (Family Firm Institute).  Chris Kennedy Lawford was on the panel as well and talked about his family’s attempts to address his addiction.  A unique journey given his position of fame and politics (we often give his books out to familys and clients).  I was again reminded that alcohol abuse and alcohol addiction (drug addiction as well) impact people across the spectrum of life.  It was encouraging to see a national meeting for consultants devote so much time to identifying addictions and taking steps to intervene in the lives of people in family business.  So what were the take-away points you ask?  Don’t be afraid to ask about addiction if you see behaviors that look like addiction.  Talk to the person first (speak to someone with knowledge about how to do that, there are some basics to this kind of conversation).  Treatment works but it takes times, so don’t lose hope.

Five Star Kids

Betty Ford Center is hosting a continuing education programs, Five Star Kids, to educate the public, including children, about addiction and recovery.  If you have a client struggling with addiction and they have children between the ages of 7 and 13, this is one of the best resources for the kids.  Visit their website for more.

On October 15, Kevin Gilliland, Executive Director of i360, will be discussing “The Art of Therapy, the Science of Change.” It will examine the research done by Prochaska & DiClemente, and others about how change occurs and is maintained. The website above lists the other topics presented, so if you live in the Dallas or Fort Worth area and are seeking more information or training on addiction and recovery, join us at the Betty Ford Center in Irving.

Question and Answer: AA or not to AA?

Another in the series of “You Asked and We’re answering.”

The question we get quite a bit from clients and family members is this - Do I have to go to Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings to get sober?

Here’s your answer – No, you don’t have to go.  Every year people stop using alcohol or drugs on their own without going to AA meetings.  I’m not talking about problem drinkers or people that abuse alcohol.  I’m talking about alcohol dependent people, alcoholics.  People also stop smoking every year without formal treatment like a patch or gum.  And by the way, obese people every year lose weight without having FedEx drop off food every week.

WAIT, quick follow-up question – “Should I go to AA meetings?”

That answer is absolutely.  Every year people are able to finally stop using drugs and alcohol with the help of meetings like AA.  And every year people try to lose weight and aren’t able to do it without getting someone to help.  They go to great programs that help them finally lose weight (Places like the Cooper Clinic Wellness Program in Dallas).  And by the way, quite a bit of very good research on addictions and recovery the past decade tells us that people that include a 12-step meeting like AA in their recovery have better outcomes.

Be wild and reckless in your recovery, try the things that have helped others even when you don’t want to.  Odds are being wild and reckless is something you do well if you are addicted to drugs and alcohol.   Apply that same planning and obsessiveness to getting your life back.  Hang out with people that have done what you are trying to do.