Question and Answer: One Drink?

We tend to get quite a few questions thrown our way and we’ve decided to start answering some of those through our blog.  Here’s one of the more common questions people early in recovery are asked by family and friends is this one – “Do you mind if I have a drink?  Will that bother you?”  And what almost everyone in early recovery says is – “No, it’s not a problem”.  Since this is a blog, we have to get to the issue at hand pretty quick, so here goes.  The question is stupid and the answer is a lie.  If you want more of the answer, you can keep reading.

First, the question.  I can’t tell you how many of the people that ask this question are the same people that only weeks or months earlier were threatening divorce, unemployment, homelessness, or other punishments – if the person didn’t quit drinking.  They have seen firsthand the wreckage of the clients alcohol abuse and have been puzzled by how challenging sobriety is.  So don’t ask the question.  Just skip the drink; and if you really can’t skip the drink – call me and I’ll do a free assessment to see if you’re alcohol dependent.  Being around alcohol can release an avalanche of feelings and thoughts that often lead to relapse.  We teach clients to be smart, not strong – it’s a good lesson for family and friends to keep in mind.

As for the answer?  People in recovery know how much they have imposed/hurt/inconvenienced their family and friends.  They don’t want to do that in sobriety. Unfortunately they miss a chance to get help from the people that care about them, they miss a chance to let others be part of the healing process, they miss a chance to remind close people that everyday is still a struggle.

And let me answer that other question you’re thinking – no, I’m not trying to remove alcohol from the world.  We tried that once and found out we were the problem, not alcohol.  You can’t control what goes on in a restaurant, but you can control what goes on at your table.  You can’t keep alcohol out of the world, but you can keep it out of your house.  Be smart not strong.